Society still puts enormous pressure on women to have a man and fuels the belief that not having a man reveals your inadequacy, thereby making single women the object of pity.
Even in arguments between women, single women are almost sure to have one taunt thrown up in their faces: “At least I have a man!” And it doesn’t matter what kind of man these women have in their lives. For them, a piece of a man is better than not having a man at all.
Some women feel they need a man in their lives to be happy. If they don’t have one, they feel sad, lonely, depressed and undesirable. And anytime a man shows any interest in them, even married men, they go for it, usually ending up heartbroken, in the aftermath of the affair. While they acknowledge being independent women, for them, being single means being incomplete and, being complete means having a man to have, hold and treasure. Sadly, such a mindset sets them up to be exploited by men who don’t have their best interests at heart.
Other women are of a different mind. They don’t feel they need a man to validate themselves as women. Being alone doesn’t make them feel sad, lonely, depressed and undesirable. For them having a man to have, hold and treasure is like icing on the cake of their lives. It’s a ‘want’ not a ‘need’. They can be just as strong, intelligent, loving, happy, successful as much as they can with or without a man. Some women have found, from personal experience, that ‘needing’ a man can lead to choosing the wrong men, especially married men, who steal years of a young woman’s life, while she waits for a divorce that rarely comes. They’ve also found that expressing a bit of ‘neediness’, whether warranted or not, brings out the ‘White Knight’ in men who are socialized to come to the rescue of ‘damsels in distress’ – an added plus.
Women who NEED men often have self-esteem issues, tend to have lower quality relationships and experience less love and trust, and more conflict and ambivalence in their relationships. Their relationships are also less stable (more likely to break up).
Women who WANT men (but don’t need them) tend to be more emotionally stable, enjoy good healthy relationships, that may or may not end in marriage and, know themselves so well, they always value their own opinion of themselves more than the opinion others have of them.
Knowing the difference could save you from a lifetime of heartache or gain you a lifetime of happiness.